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LONG-DISTANCE SUCKS!

LONG-DISTANCE SUCKS!

Occasionally I like to post a blank form and have followers contribute to it
by asking questions about things they'd like to see in a post.

LIterally, all of the questions were about Sam and I's relationship.
Married stuff, apartment decorations, and my ultimate favorite...
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

I decided to tackle this question today.


OUR STORY

Before I give you any advice, I want to tell you a little bit about our story. 
(If you'd like to read more in-depth about our story, I wrote a post about it hereeee!)

But basically, we met for a second in January of 2016. Then from there, he was off touring with a band he worked for.
He was in Iowa for some time, but mostly traveling throughout the U.S.
I was in Wisconsin working full-time at a Church.

We talked CONSTANTLY for six months until we met again in person and spent some time together.
From there, we decided to be a thing even though it was long distance. 
We were dating long-distance for about 4 months I believe, and then he moved back to his hometown in Wisconsin near me.

When we were engaged we were long-distance for only three weeks while he went back on tour. 

and now we are MARRIED and long-distance for almost two months.
 


MY ADVICE

Now that you know a little bit about our story, I can tell you a few things that I've learned in each phase of
the dreaded LONG DISTANCE.

First of all, it sucks.
Like it just does. No matter if its a week, a month, or longer. 

Being away from your significant other is never easy.
I feel incredibly lucky that we have not had to endure a long-distance relationship for all that long.
I almost do not feel all that credentialed to tell you "advice" because honestly in the grand scheme of things,
We did not have it bad at all.

But here are a few of my advice/tips about long-distance relationships!

LEARNING THRU COMMUNICATION

This would be a PRO for long-distance.
I think that the learning you do about communication is HUGE!

You have to literally fight to keep your connection and communication.
You get to learn about each other in a non-physical context which is kind of really special.
There is no pressure to be serious, or figure out what to do every day.
But you get the benefit of knowing that person for WHO They are not just their "presence" if that makes sense.

You get to spend time with their personality and the mechanics of their brain.

TIP: Communication is the biggest thing in a relationship (other than having Jesus at the center of course!)
whether you are long-distance, short-distance, married, or whatever.
This is the thing that will help prevent misunderstandings and to help you enjoy each other more.

Communication is not just merely talking, but being intentional about how you communicate with each other.
If I'm being transparent with you, 90% of Sam and I's arguments are due to miscommunication.
I literally hate texting, and honestly, you'd think we'd learn by now, but we have misunderstandings over text
allllllll the time. We are no exception to learning learning learning!

Try to talk over FaceTime or over the phone as much as possible and avoid texting!
This will help alleviate misreading tone and body language.

PROTECT YOUR HEARTS

This is going to be a little thing and you may or may not agree with me on this...
But if you are in a distant relationship, you need to be even more conscious about who you spend your time with.

Protect your hearts.
Do not put yourself in situations with other people that are going to either
tempt you or hurt your significant other.

As a married person, I have a rule where I will never be alone in the car with a man that is not my husband or family.
I will not meet with another man, even in public, unless another person is there as well.
This is called accountability.
Would I ever dream of violating my vow to be faithful to Sam?
Never in a million years.
These are action steps to prevent anything from occurring and to also respect my Husband.
Though I know that I would never want to be unfaithful to him, and he trusts me,
I want to respect my husband enough to not be alone with another man.

Simple rule. 
The more you're serious about one another, the more guard rails you need to put up
in order to preserve trust and respect in your relationship.

IF POSSIBLE, PLAN VISITS

If your situation allows, try to plan on visiting.
This will help your aching heart to have a glimmer of hope in the times where distance seems tough.

Again, we were lucky. When we first started dating, they were traveling often in the mid-west so there were a few times
we could see each other, even if it was for a few hours!

Simply having a countdown on my phone that told me how many days
it would be until I would see Sam again was very encouraging to me.

I have a countdown going right now.
As of today, I'll be reunited with my hubby in 21 days!


Those are a few things that I thought of.

To the long-distancer's, I hope that this helped you in some way!
It's hard, I know.
You do have to fight for your relationship more than the average short-distance Joe's.
But in the end, it's worth it.

-A

 

 

 

 

 

 

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