IF I'M HONEST
If I'm honest, I don't want to write today.
I didn't want to write yesterday, or the day before. I napped up until 5 minutes before I had to go live on FB to announce the winner to my student back to school giveaway. If it were up to me I would have gone back to sleep but I had an obligation to go to.
If I'm honest, this hasn't been, "The best summer ever". I got engaged this summer but that doesn't mean that I am without worry or care or feeling.
If I'm honest, I don't want to talk about it. at all. to anyone. I just need time to process; time to be alone with my thoughts for a moment, If my thoughts would leave me alone for a moment.
If I'm honest, I know that I have to go through this season. But being honest means hating that I have to go through this season. This season of rediscovering almost everything about me.
You see, everything I thought I knew about myself has been shifted and changed. And that's not entirely bad, because just like summer changes into fall, people do too. My favorite song in the 9th grade is not my favorite song today.
But the more we change, we have to relearn the newness about ourselves, and thats where I am right now.
If I'm honest, I've been smiling to cover my panicking tears. But, if I'm honest, I know that I'm going to get through this. I know that every season has its end.
If I'm honest, I'm striving to choose joy, over sleeping the day away.
So, in conclusion, if a cactus can survive in the desert so can I.